Your Parent Gave You Money, But You Wanted Love

Nothing gets more convoluted in human minds, than the concept of money.

When children have a bad experience with their caregivers and money, they subconsciously make a decision to dislike money.

One of the “money traumas” that I see in my coaching practice is created when parents give tons and tons of money to their children, but hold back on giving their kids what they really want:

  • Love
  • Attention
  • Acceptance
  • Encouragement
  • Safety

This one decision can wreak havoc on your finances for the rest of your life, until you decide to fix it.

Did you grow up with a parent or caregiver who used money as a tool to win your love and acceptance?

Or worse, were you raised by someone who bribed you with money, to keep you quiet on all other fronts?


  • Your parent or caregiver gave you tons of money but always seemed to be missing when you really needed them.
  • Your parent or caregiver prioritized money over you, making you feel like they were rich and powerful, and you at their mercy.
  • Your parent or caregiver constantly bragged about their earnings, and rarely noticed your achievements, making you sink into the shadows.
  • Your parent or caregiver gave you money to keep you quiet.

Today, as an adult, you are probably dealing with these wealthy parent/caregiver traumas the best you can.

Maybe you are doing one of the following:

  • Working ALL the time to prove your worth through high earning (and simultaneously wearing yourself out, and eventually causing health and relationship issues)
  • Avoiding money completely, making sure you have enough for bills, but other than that, not giving money the time of day because deep down you hate money (leaving your finances unattended, and unloved, and quite frankly, a mess)
  • Surrounding yourself with people who love you well, but don’t earn very well, limiting your mindset for what is possible in your life
  • Becoming the undeniable breadwinner of your family so you can feel in control like you “won” in the imaginary competition that you have with the caregiver who ignored you, leaving you feeling fatigued, and still angry.
  • Focusing solely on love and experiences, because you despise money, so why would you waste any time on money?

The problem with all of these chosen solutions, is that they are all bandaids, that don’t heal the original wound.

Whether money was overused in replacement of love, or withheld from you in a power struggle, the truth is that the more you heal the deeper abandonment issues with money the more you can call in more income and build your personal wealth.

The solution is to:

  • Learn how to see that your parent or caregiver may have made some bad choices but it is not money’s fault
  • Stop throwing money out with the bath water
  • Discover how to separate money from other people, and think of it is your friend
  • Begin to trust this friend, money
  • Learn how to take care of this friendship with money (through better thoughts and feelings aka “mindset” + also looking at your numbers and taking care of your finances more)
  • Realize that you are meant to thrive financially on all levels
  • Expand to receive more

You can begin this healing process today by making a decision: money is not bad.

People may make bad decisions with money, but money itself is good energy meant to be used to support your experiences in life.

You can decide to accept money as a friend today.

Warm regards,


May 10, 2022

Contact me if you’d like some tips on how you can improve your relationship with Money.