Forgive Your Debt

By far the biggest stressor I see in my coaching clients’ lives is the emotion of anxiety about money. I see it in both moderate and high earners.

New private clients usually love the first part of my process…. the yummy journey of learning to see money as spiritual energy and becoming open to receiving more of it.

It’s what I would call one of the “fun” parts of the money journey.

But once we get to the finance portion, often their energy takes a downturn.

They show up extremely seriously, and often I can see their feelings of shame, below the surface.

Usually they Do. Not. Want. To. Look.

There’s an uncanny vibe I sense... many times it feels like we are about to enter a funeral, or a prison.

But we hold hands and begin walking through the forest... looking at all the parts of their financial landscape.

We go over the least painful parts first, but inevitably we arrive at the exact location where they are experiencing shame, which is often times their credit card debt.

Saying their actual credit card debt number out loud can be excruciating for them.

I see their bodies drop. I observe their energy go within, hiding like a turtle going back into its shell.

There are many reasons why people get into debt, and I understand many of them, because I have experienced many of them myself.

Debt is complicated.

Debt is created from our emotions.

In fact, in most of the cases I’ve seen, debt has been very emotionally charged.

If you currently have a lot of debt, see if any of these emotions were drivers that lead you to debt:

  • You were hurting from something really hard in your life, and your credit card became your retail therapy BFF
  • As your income got higher and higher, you began spending more and more, then your income dropped, but you didn’t want the embarrassment of not being able to spend like your peers, so you just put stuff on the card
  • You got really sick and could not work for an extended period of time, and after your savings got depleted, the bills started going on your card
  • You became unemployed but didn’t have the energy to immediately put yourself out there again, so debt became an option to take some time off
  • In an effort to give your children everything, you gave them more than you could afford, and slowly but surely became buried in debt
  • You got fed up with your spouse being such a penny pincher so you started your own secret account… a credit card your partner would never have to know about
  • You felt that money was a villain that had caused greed and unhappiness in your family, so you avoided your finances by saying “F--k it! I’ll just put it on the card” (then immediately stopped looking at your incoming bills)
  • You got involved in a horrible divorce and had to use a credit card to protect yourself by hiring a good attorney
  • You got on the abundant vibe train at a spiritual retreat, and when you got home promptly began using your credit card to get your home surroundings up to par with the vision you saw for your future (even though you could not yet afford any of it)
  • You lived with lack consciousness growing up and wanted to prove to yourself that you could have exotic experiences so you began travelling abroad, with your credit card supporting you all the way

However your debt was created, it is time to forgive yourself for creating it.

Once you acknowledge the hard emotions that created your credit card debt, you can begin to cultivate the self-compassion that you will need to clear it.

Forgive yourself.

Forgive the debt for being there.

Aside from the fact that credit card companies are using researched-based sneaky tactics to help you get further and further into debt, you have to admit...when you needed that money, money was there for you.

Your debt is not your enemy; it is your greatest teacher.

Whichever emotion created your credit card debt, is the exact emotion that needs healing.

Often, I ask my clients to write a gratitude list to money, specifically for the money that was there for them via credit card debt.

Yes, the money came in the form of credit card debt.

Yes it needs to be cleaned up.

But… shame never fixed anything.

However, self-love can fix this.

Here are a few examples of how to thank your credit card debt:

  • Money, thank you for helping me take care of my family.
  • Money, thank you for taking me across the world.
  • Money, thank you for being there for me, when others were not.

Now it’s your turn…

Let me know how it goes.

Much love,

November 15, 2021

Contact me if you’d like some tips on how you can improve your relationship with Money.